This adoption process has become a fun journey. I can’t stop thinking about all of the possibilities. Good, bad, fun, sad. Everything. We’ve spent the last few weeks researching and cleaning the home for preparation. Everything that we have learned is gearing us to open our home to a forever baby. As we do this, we have had to make sacrifices.
- Rufina, Italy. My trip to Italy in 2018 is quite likely postponed. I still have my dream board that sits above my dresser pinpointing (quite literally) the places I plan to go during my two-week trip. But, the money that I would have been saving for my trip now goes to the dream of a family.
- Eating out. Jeremy and I never used to eat out so much but, with our work schedules sometimes its just so much easier. Now, we are back to making meal plans and eating a little healthier because, “We have to think of little one.” I’ve even gotten Jeremy to actually take his multivitamins. And believe me, that isn’t an easy feat.
- My library. Ok, this may not be that big of a sacrifice to many people, but man, it is to me. I have three bookshelves filled with books, and I am slowly packing them into action packers to throw in my storage closet until we move. I’ll also have to sell my bookcases, which isn’t that big of a loss since they are a bit doddering. I’ll just miss the scent of old books every time I sit next to them invigorated by the words on those pages.
- My office. I don’t use my office. So, this really isn’t a sacrifice. But, it’s just nice to have one so when I do want to actually buckle down and write those children’s books or to draw a new tattoo or write a poem I could do it. It also was a place for my printer, file drawer, and laptop. In a few weeks I won’t have any of that any more. It kills me. Mainly because I’m a creature of habit and I have a place for everything. Now, now I have to reorganize my carefully constructed world to do that. Ugh.
- Puppy snuggles. My dogs have their own beds but quite often refuse to sleep on them because it’s always so fun to snuggle. Buster has been found in the middle of Jeremy and I during the night because he’s just so content there. Baxter loves the foot of the bed and the covers. When our little one comes, they are going to be relegated to their bed, though comfortable, not as comfortable as cuddled next to their Mama.
- Using money freely. This one is probably the hardest. We aren’t made of a lot of money at all. We have jobs that pay relatively well but nothing that strikes us rich. However, God has blessed us, and we have money to be able to enjoy shopping trips, vacations and just because gifts. With little one on his or her way, we have stopped anything really that isn’t needed in hopes to be better prepared to give our little one everything they could possibly want or need.
None of this really is a great loss. Well, maybe except Italy and my library. The rest really is just an inconvenience. But, I can tell you, an inconvenience that I will gladly continue to do to be able to hold my precious child in my arms. What I’m really nervous about is not making enough sacrifices to be given the green light to be placed. Does that sound stupid? I just want to be able to love and provide for our little one. And it makes me nervous that someone will have to come into our home to dissect all of our short comings and has the say as to whether we could love and raise a little one. Has anyone shared in those fears? That is why I continue to find things to “sacrifice.” I would rather sacrifice something to be able to have a family then to have a pile of books that collect and grow on my shelves faster than I can read them.
For those who have gone through the adoption journey, what did you do to ready yourself for the daunting home study? xoxo