I was sitting in a conference room waiting for a meeting to begin when I heard the moaning and complaining of someone. While I may not know this person I could feel the negative vibes from them. The room where this person stood was loud with friendly badgering prior to Mrs. Negative Nancy walking in. I was sad that her position in the company caused the room to be dead quite with her complaints.
I’ve been a part of atmospheres like that before. There are times when I realize my unhappiness has helped contribute to a toxic environment. Sometimes we forget how extremely potent how we conduct ourselves are to others. Our job is to remember that fighting toxic people is what they want. Any kind of confrontation with a Negative Nancy or Negative Nate brings toxic people more willingness to continue with their human toxicity.
If we come across bitter and negative people we should always remember:
- Don’t give them the time of day.
I got into an unwitting word war with someone. Unwitting because I simply said stop and that triggered the anger and hatred the other person has in their heart. We are better off ignoring someone with toxic feelings.
- Be positive
My husband reminded me that killing someone with kindness works. When my temper starts to heat up it is quite hard for me to pull back. In the above example it took my husband, my mom and a best friend to remind me that closing my mouth and walking away with a smile is better than retaliation.
- Avoid the crazies
My mom always said to be sure who I surround myself with people the energy they give off becomes my energy too. If an antagonist is your friend just a tidbit – you become who you hang around with. Self-pitying people also included in this.
- Don’t allow it to happen
I shared a story about a man who told a coworker that she should work on killing herself. He was nothing but a bully. The best thing you can do to deal with a bully is not take it. Stand up to them. Or ask someone for help. Don’t be a victim. You can’t control someone’s behavior. But, you can control how long you are a part of it.
- Understand the cycle
A toxic person can be so charming. Quick talkers, smooth as molasses. They’ll make you trust them and then they find ways to bring you down.They’ll apologize and you’ll feel forgiving. Then the cycle starts all over again. It’s okay to forgive, but don’t forget.
Here is something you should also remember…
God loves them and so should we.
Pray for them.
They will find something negative to say about anything positive.
They can’t be happy for you because they are disgusted with themselves.
Don’t become bitter with them, become better and pray for their growth and maturity.
Value yourself. Value others. Keep praying for the meanies in your life but don’t allow them to hurt you or others. Don’t shoo them underground rather call for action. Don’t let them limit your joy.
People inspire you, or they drain you. Pick them wisely. xoxo