Don’t laugh when I tell you I love Twilight. Yes, I know there are other vamp movies out there that are better. Or more “accurate.” Or to some, “not so dumb.” I have my vice you have yours. But, for me the awful love story suits me. One of my favorite parts of the movie was when Bella declared herself Switzerland because I could relate.

In everything I do I seem to always get the neutral part of the job. At my previous employer I had to balance and make the office happy while making the sales team happy. At this current job I am the ear to the company’s First Lady. And, let me tell you, it is flippin’ hard. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job and I love working for my boss, but sometimes just sometimes I’d like to not be Switzerland, I’d like to be invisible.

At my husband’s job there are a group of workers that are called “ghosts.” In my view they are shadow people because they work when no one is around, they embody a worker but don’t appear to work during regular hours. I don’t know why my husband calls them ghosts really but that is what I’d like to be. A shadow person, a ghost just floating about not having to deal with the dramas and the needs of everyone else. Sometimes, I don’t want to be needed. How bad is that?

Here is what I feel right now…

  • I don’t know why you didn’t get what you asked for. It was probably because someone else threw a bigger fit then you did.
  • No, I don’t get paid to put up with your crap but I do because that is what makes me great.
  • No, I don’t have the magic button to fix your IT issue. I have twelve magic buttons that will fix your IT issue. And oh, by the way, you will need a phone and time cut out to use these buttons. They are as needy as you.
  • Sorry, I really can’t walk with you to the food carts. Nor, can I take off of work and have coffee with you. Why? Well, because I’m fixing everyone’s issues, that’s why.
  • Aw how sweet, you miss me? Thanks! But, I’m moving to the other office so I don’t have time to listen to you tell me that. And oh, when I move to the other office it doesn’t mean you email me to tell me what you did the night before.
  • I’m sorry your employee has to spend some time in the basement filing. I didn’t make the floor plans. It won’t kill them, I promise. I spend some time down there too. I haven’t died yet.
  • Oh it’s hot in your office? Well, its bone chilling cold in mine and I’ve managed to deal. Put on your big girl pants and deal.
  • People have problems with the printer? Well, tag you’re it. I’m not running that office anymore. That’s why I hired you.
  • Oh, you want an update about your mileage for the previous month? Well, news flash, if you don’t submit it to your supervisor for a sign off it never gets to me. Always been the rule.

This is day two back from my holiday. How do they have so many issues to be fixed? I am the handyman in the company even if we have an actual handyman. Maybe I should have gone for my psychology degree because I’m doing the job of one.

Can the Winchesters please tell me how to be shadow person so I can not be seen? xoxo

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