I have had enough loss in the last three years then I ever care to have again. With these losses I have learned one thing: life is so very frail.

I have been on a quest to better myself. To find who I am and be the truest and best version of myself I can be. I believe wholeheartedly that by doing so I will become the woman God intends me to be. When I can love myself and love others that is when I begin to be the Godly woman I need to be for my husband and my family.

I was speaking with a friend today and we talked about how sometimes life is hard because we are always worried about being judged for who we are and how we love God. We have worried about what others would say because we are being true to ourselves. We have worried about what others would do because we loved to sing and dance instead of being still. We have worried about what others would think if we were not living exactly the way they have always lived.

To be honest with you, I’m tired of that. I’m tired of having to worry about what others think of me. I’m tired of the actions of others toward me just because I love music and all of my emotions come out from it. I am tired of the things people say about me but I do not fit the mold. I never did. I am tired of living to be the way people want me to be.

So, from here on out that will stop. From here on out I am going to be the truest version of myself. I am going to be the best that I can be and with God’s grace be even better. From here on out I will be me.

I will…

  • Be unique and crazy and charismatic and stubborn.
  • Love with a love that doesn’t encompass myself, but man can I still love.
  • Continue to be book smart and incredibly ditzy because life is too short to be stiff.
  • Probably never break out of my introvert side of me but that doesn’t matter because I can and will talk your ear off (the hubby will attest to that).
  • Love God with a passion that feels right. I will have a relationship with Him that is personal for me no matter what others think or say.

Today I spent part of the day contemplating about who I am and who I need to be in God. And I have decided that while it is a scary thing I’m glad I have friends and a church that makes me feel good about myself. I am glad to be a part of a community that understands without know that I have a past but still welcomes me without judgement.

Today I thought about the frailty of our lives. About how things change so easily and so often. About how thoughts and attitudes can and usually change the path of someone or many people. Today, I choose to be the best version of myself that I may take the dark in this world and shine a light of hope and healing to help bring in a postive change. Today, I choose to love and by the grace of God be everything He needs me to be that I may be able to be the hand someone takes, to be the bridge and the encouragement to keep going.

Today, I choose to be the truest Pearl that I can be that I may be able to stand tall when I hear, “Welcome Home.” xoxo

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