Today was a nightmare. Like Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, Child’s Play nightmare. Like It, Jeepers Creepers, Michael Meyers nightmare.

Literally.

Everything that could go wrong went wrong.

I got chewed out for a vendor not being paid. First, I did my job. Second, if you want someone to get paid maybe you should turn in the invoice into me on the day it hits your hand not two months later. Third, don’t email your boss bashing me and think she would not reach out to me. #douche

Someone got fussy with me for actually paying a bill because supposedly it “wasn’t approved because there is not enough revenue for that program in this fiscal year.” Believe it or not I’m not confrontational so I let them vent. She did tell me not to pay it. Then two weeks later her assistant told me it was clear to go. So guess what I did? I paid the darn bill. I did my job.

My nephew asked me why I’m not a mommy yet. My heart immediately tore into a thousand shards of glass pieces. Then I smiled at him and said because God hasn’t blessed me with a baby yet. His response was he’d pray that God blesses me with a baby because I’d be a great mom.

It’s been a hard Friday.

I used to get asked every day what I was thankful for. It could be for anything. At first I hated the exercise because it forced me to think of something positive in the midst of darkness. I hated it because half the time the things I was thankful for were just doing the motion kind of things. Then I began to get used to it. I began to accept it. It became easier to say what I was thankful for and mean it.

So, to combat all the crap that went on today I needed to find silver linings…

I didn’t fall off a cliff while playing Pokemon Go.
My friend had an interview.
Though I ran out of pokeballs I have two Pikachus when a lot of people I know have none.
I threatened to cut off someone’s fingers and it worked. (I told you it was a long day.)
My husband sorta took me around to find pokestops. (Don’t judge.)
I have my beautiful niece and handsome nephews spending the weekend.
I prayed with a hurting soul during an eye exam.
I get my tattoo in a week. (It is gonna be the shizzle.)
Aaron Rodgers wants to retire a Packer. (Hell ya!)
It is bloody Aloha Friday. (Double hell ya!)

Okay, so maybe most of these silver linings are incredibly silly. Or threatening. Or roll of the eyes crazy. But, it helped. I pulled myself out of the dark and found actual reasons to be thankful. And that is all that matters right?

Today, I’m thankful for the fact that my nightmare always ends. Whether in my sleep. Whether while awake. It always ends.

Today, I’m thankful for the fact that a simple game I grew up with can make me happy enough to just let everything in my life go.

Today, I’m thankful for not falling and staying down.

Today, I am just thankful. xoxo

Advertisements