Sometimes I think about my past, my mistakes and wonder how it affected my family. Family isn’t just an important thing. Family is everything. I sit here trying to sort feelings in me that I’m not certain I understand. The only thing I know of these feelings, if I had to do it all over again, I’d do it again because I’d do anything to support my family. Sometimes my family can be wrong. That doesn’t mean I lay them in the ditch to perish for their – for lack of better words – stupidity. But, that doesn’t stop me from supporting them.
You see as a daughter, wife, sister and aunty my job isn’t to judge them. Although, at times I fall short. My job is to be patient with them, help them realize they have the ability to be all that they ever have hoped to be. My job is to love them, motivate them, hold them, brace them, and most of all, help them to realize their wings are meant to fly with. My part in the family is to be a prayer partner, a help me find a job partner, take me to the pantry partner, or you’re this super hero partner.
As we’ve gotten older, my family and I have gotten closer. We have learned after the passing of my dad how fickle life can be. We know that in the blink of an eye everything in our world could change. We learned that we needed to remember to love deeply and to forgive one another as we aren’t promised tomorrow and we may never have the chance. After the passing of my dad, nothing has been more important to me then letting my family know that I love them and to support them in every way I can.
I haven’t been feeling up to par the last week but today I got the chance to lend a helping hand for a family member. Rightfully so, I shouldn’t have considering I’ve been sick, but he needed a break. He needed to be able to realize that he wasn’t alone and that we were here for him. So, instead of worrying about myself, I did what I should have. I gave of myself, unselfishly, so he could tangibly see, thick or thin, our bloodline runs deep. Today, I was also told, in greater length of words, I was selfish for doing so.
I believe in doing good in this world. I believe that if it feels right, I will always put myself second in the hopes that I can show someone the love of God by simply helping them. I believe in doing good because the God I serve washed the feet of servants, ate dinner with sinners, laughed with outcasts, saved the unloveable. I believe in doing good because the God I serve gave up his Son that I could be forgiven. It’s through this forgiveness that I take part in the deepest bloodline out there. Being a part of this bloodline doesn’t make what I did selfish. It makes what you feel heartless.