memories1

It’s been two years since you’ve left. People say that mourning takes time, missing someone takes even longer. Sometimes I wonder if these people have lost a parent. I can’t imagine my life without mom. I’ve been forced to imagine my life without you.

Carrie released her new album and there is a song called “The Girl You Think I Am.” When I first heard it I thought of how you and mom have believed in me more than I could ever believe in myself. So, in honor of you daddy, this song is for you.

You think I’m strong, you think I’m fearless
Even when I’m, I’m at my weakest
You always see the best in me when I can’t
I wanna be the girl you think I am

I remember when I first fell in love with basketball. I told you I wanted to join the WNBA and fly. You probably knew deep down that your Honey Girl was and would never be good enough to join the ranks of the elite but you supported me anyhow. You bought me my first Rebecca Lobo jersey. You helped supply me with my basketball gear. You practiced with me and never really took it easy on me. You pushed me to my limits and made me fear no one on the court. To this day, even if I’ve lost most of the skills I will go head to head with anyone.

I got my flaws and I’ve got regrets
And I know there’s more on the road ahead
When I wonder if I’ll ever measure up
Oh, I thank God for a father’s love

Sometimes I think of the mistakes I’ve made. Maybe it isn’t the smartest thing to do but it keeps me grounded knowing where I came from. Some days I shake my head asking myself what on earth was I thinking. Then, then I think of you dad and how you never made me feel less of a person because of those mistakes. I look at my dreams and what I want to accomplish and I am grateful because no matter how big those dreams you stood beside me cheering me on. One day, I hope to love and support a child like you and mom have done for me.

Cause you think I’m brave, and you think I’m beautiful
You think that I can do the impossible
You always see the best in me when I can’t
I wanna be the girl you think I am

You never clipped my wings. I know there were times when you and mom had to throw the hammer down with me, times when I didn’t make life easy for either of you. There were times I thought I couldn’t do it. Times I thought I wasn’t big enough, strong enough, brave enough to embark on my adventure. But you always made sure that I knew how brave you thought I was, how beautiful I was inside and out. You made sure that whatever I wanted to do, to be, to accomplish I knew I could do it. You always saw the best in me, even when all I saw was darkness.

All I want, more than anything
Is to make you proud of me

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Daddy, I miss you  more than words can say. I hope, as I continue on my journey in life, that you are proud of the woman I’ve become and will become. I love you daddy, more than you’ll ever know. 
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