I have found that growing up and putting on big girl panties means being honest to yourself and to those in your life. Growing up is about being honest with what I want, what I need, what I feel, and about being honest with who I am. The issue with honesty is that there is a vulnerability aspect when you are completely honest with yourself and the people around you. The truth doesn’t cost you anything and yet it can cost you everything.

Being honest is scary. I’ve had this elephant sitting on my chest for some time now and decided that maybe, just maybe, it was time to render the elephant some aid on getting off. First off, you need to know you can be brave enough to start a conversation that matters. You can’t expect anyone to truly know how you feel unless you are honest with them. Second, you can’t expect anyone to be able to just read you and they understand every nook and cranny you have in your life. Starting a conversation about how you feel allows the other person to know that you’re in it, that you’re present. Or, that it at least matters.

You cannot have a healthy relationship with anyone who is wearing a mask. Whether it’s a new acquaintance, your significant other, your mom and dad, or even a coworker. If you go on pretending to be the person they want, or the person you think they want you’re only failing yourself. You’re hurting yourself in the long run because you’ll begin to be angry, resentful, and full of regret. The truth about who you are and how you feel will be the only thing that will allow you to gain the freedom of what you really want, of what you deserve.

Being honest can render the very life you live nonexistent. That, my friend, is a scary thing. To be honest and see your world crumble before your feet is heartbreaking. At that same time, to see your world crumble at your feet knowing it isn’t the world you see yourself in can be liberating. Everything will be washed away when you are honest with yourself. It may not be pretty. It may not be fun. But, you deserve so much more. Whatever you choose will be your forever, your lifetime. It shouldn’t be anyone else’s choice. It shouldn’t be anyone else’s feelings. What makes you happy? What makes you proud? Be honest with yourself and live the life you choose otherwise you will go on each day just doing the motions of friendship, of employment, of love, of life. 

Being honest, understanding who you are will cause you to try again. I’m not afraid of trying again. What I am afraid of is getting hurt for the same reasons. But, at least I’m being honest. My elephant sitting on my chest has taken residency somewhere else. It may still be in the vacinity of my heart but it’s now made known. I took the risk, for once in my life was brave enough to be honest and unloaded. It wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t fun. This new world may not be the way I planned it to take shape. It may not be with the job I want or the people I want in it. It may not be in the position I want it to be. But my honesty allowed me a start of my forever. 

Tutto il mio amore. 

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